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Why do we need a ritual?In grief and death, Christians turn to God and their community for comfort, support and strength. Regrettably, when grieving the loss of a pregnancy most parents are left in silent isolation with their sorrow. This loss is such a common occurrence that people may not appreciate the depth of the parents’ grief. For those who have experienced it, there is nothing common about the experience. For most women (and men), it is a devastating and painful event.
As Christians, we bless God and give thanks for God’s work even and especially in times of sorrow. We give thanks for the gift of God’s presence, where we seek comfort, strength and courage to live through the sorrowful hours. It is difficult to put pain adequately into words, but rituals speak beyond words alone because they consist of symbolic actions and language. They sanctify our experiences and entrust them to God’s loving care and compassion. The rituals surrounding reproductive loss validate parents’ experience, give voice to their pain through prayers and lamentation, and create an environment for the community to gather with each other to offer supportive love. Through our rituals, moments of our lives become moments of the Church’s life. |
Dignity of human persons
Regardless of whether the infant was baptized before death, Catholics stand by their position as to when life really begins. “Human life is sacred because from its beginning it involves the creative action of God and it remains forever in a special relationship with the Creator, who is its sole end.” CCC 2258
Catholics in particular hold in great regard that every human person, including the unborn, has been crafted in the image of God. Our Catechism further notes that “being in the image of God the human individual possesses the dignity of a person, who is not just something, but someone.”
It is necessary for the church to express our care and act in accordance with our teachings about the sanctity of the unborn through our rituals and memorials. A farewell ritual and dignified burial needed to recognize the life and death of a baby is not only appropriate but necessary at any gestational age.
Catholics in particular hold in great regard that every human person, including the unborn, has been crafted in the image of God. Our Catechism further notes that “being in the image of God the human individual possesses the dignity of a person, who is not just something, but someone.”
It is necessary for the church to express our care and act in accordance with our teachings about the sanctity of the unborn through our rituals and memorials. A farewell ritual and dignified burial needed to recognize the life and death of a baby is not only appropriate but necessary at any gestational age.
The importance of gathering with the community
The grief from pregnancy loss often goes unspoken, as secrecy often accompanies the early stages of pregnancy. How can the community offer comfort when its members know nothing about the loss? Even when the grieving parents do share their loss, the many kind comments and sentiments expressed often fail to alleviate the sorrow parents feel.
The presence of the community is an important aspect of a ritual. When we come together as a community, we identify and recognize our woundedness. Our work is not to take grief away, but to be a real presence and strength to one another.
It is so very hard to heal alone. Christian rituals allow grieving parents to gather in the embrace of their divine community in Christ, for no one is independent as we share in the life of Christ through our baptism. Through our rituals, God reveals His saving initiative in Jesus the Christ, calling us to the assurance of eternal life through the dying and rising experiences of our life. Through our prayers, ministers and grieving parents are called to recognize and to accept their pain, transforming their expression of despair into signs of hope.
The presence of the community is an important aspect of a ritual. When we come together as a community, we identify and recognize our woundedness. Our work is not to take grief away, but to be a real presence and strength to one another.
It is so very hard to heal alone. Christian rituals allow grieving parents to gather in the embrace of their divine community in Christ, for no one is independent as we share in the life of Christ through our baptism. Through our rituals, God reveals His saving initiative in Jesus the Christ, calling us to the assurance of eternal life through the dying and rising experiences of our life. Through our prayers, ministers and grieving parents are called to recognize and to accept their pain, transforming their expression of despair into signs of hope.
Structure of the Liturgy |
All the members of the assembly are invited to join in celebrating your child's life here and in eternity, mourning your loss and praying that you will be given the strength, consolation and hope to move beyond your present pain and to continue on your journey into the everlasting joy of God's Kingdom.
Introductory Rites
The Lord's Prayer Final Commendation
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